I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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