I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
