apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
