I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize