hell yes lets make some ravioli
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
