I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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