Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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