guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
