dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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