just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You need Xanax blowdarts
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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