Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
