There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
