# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
