so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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