So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
