So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
