Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm just crazy horny about you
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
