My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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