No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
