You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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