R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize