i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
birth control should be required to get into college
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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