why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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