Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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