if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
