omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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