i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
