it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Me too!
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
