This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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