He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
