I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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