The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize