goodnight i made you a song goodbye
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
