i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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