Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
