meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
last night I used snow as a chaser
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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