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hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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