??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
one two three fourrrrnication!
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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