Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
