you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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