god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
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I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
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She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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