are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
