The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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