Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
