there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
