I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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