you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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