meet me or not, i'm out of control
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
