Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
