Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
being pregnant is like rehab
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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