the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm both gender and math confused
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
