there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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