i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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