i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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