She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
