Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
