I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
