Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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