So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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